Fifth Wheel in the Sky?

I bought a new keyboard, the cheapest one they had at a popular electronics retail store that shall remain nameless (let’s just say their staff may or may not include a squad of geeks). I suppose I should have spent a little more. The keystrokes are loud enough to wake the dead. This is the kind of thing that gets to be unbearable at three in the morning after a fourteen hour work day.

I just recently started working a second job, and the combined hours are keeping me fairly busy, but the money? Entirely worth it. If I can keep this pace, I may reach the specific goal I've yet to share.

Anyone can push a pen around, but so far as I know, I’m the only one who can push a pen around. Now that you understand the distinction, I can tell you that I’ve begun to exercise.

It’s mostly little things. I take small objects –quarters, thumb tacks, you name it – and move them around. I’ve found that it’s much easier to cause a quick burst of force than it is to sustain even a small weight.

In other words, I can push or pull a paper clip around all day, but I can’t lift a coffee mug and hold it up; when I tried, it just popped up and crashed back down (hence the new keyboard; should have tried it empty first…live and learn). Anything more than a couple pounds is too heavy to move at all.

Just like the kind of exercise any other person might do, it can be exhausting. Sometimes I’ll develop a mild headache. If I exert myself too much, I get what I call brain yawns. Imagine your whole head is shivering, just like it feels when you yawn, except your mouth is closed and your eyes sort of wobble in their sockets.

I keep these exercise operations clandestine, using the semi-reliable laundry basket method I’ve discussed previously. So far, not one of my four roommates has caught me at it.

You read that right, four roommates. Two couples and I...the fifth wheel-ness of the situation can be a bit isolating at times, but it isn’t nearly as bad as you’re probably imagining.

Yet, with four other people living in the house, it’s only a matter of time before they see something move when it shouldn’t, maybe too often to ignore. Questions will be asked.

What will I say then?